"Cybernetic Humor"
by John Perez-Sampedro
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A little girl: was talking to her teacher about whales.
The teacher: said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a
human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very
small.
The little girl: stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale.
Irritated, the teacher: reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human;
it was physically impossible.
The little girl: said, "When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah".
The teacher: asked, " What if Jonah went to hell?"
The little girl: replied, "Then you ask him".
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Brian Hester invited his mother over for dinner. During the course of the meal, Brian's mother couldn't help but keep noticing how beautiful brian's roommate, Stephanie, was. Mrs. Hester had long been suspicious of a relationship between Brian and Stephanie, and this had only made her more curious. Over the course of the evening, while watching the two interact, Mrs. Hester started to wonder if there was more between Brian and Stephanie than met the eye. Reading his mom's thoughts, Brian volunteered, "I know what you must be thinking, but I assure you Stephanie and I are just roommates" About a week later, Stephanie came to Brian saying, "Ever since your mother came to dinner, I've been unable to find the beautiful silver gravy ladle. You don't suppose she took it, do you?" Well I doubt it, but I'll send her an e-mail to be sure." So he sat down and wrote: Dear Mother, I'm not saying that you "did" take the gravy ladle from the house, I'm not saying that you "did not" take the gravy ladle. But the fact remains that one has been missing ever since you were here for dinner. Love Brian Several days later, Brian received a letter from his mother that read: Dear Son, I'm not saying that you "do" sleep with Stephanie, and I'm not saying that you "do not"sleep with Stephanie. But the fact remains that if she was sleeping in her own bed, she would have found the gravy ladle by now. Love Mom
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Barbara Walters did a story on gender roles in Kuwait several years before the Gulf War. She noted then that women customarily walked about 10 feet behind their husbands. She returned to Kuwait recently and observed that the men now walked several yards behind their wives.
Ms. Walters approached one of the women and said, "This is marvelous. Can you tell me and the free world just what enabled women here to achieve this marvelous reversal of roles?"
"Land mines," said the Kuwaiti woman.
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They have finally found a diagnosis for my
condition. I have recently been diagnosed with A. A. A.
D. D. - Age Activated Attention Deficit
Disorder. This is how it
goes:
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He came back in for lunch and asked his grandma
"where's Mom and Dad?" and she replied "they're still up in bed."
Again the little boy started to giggle and he ate his lunch and went out to play.
Then the little boy came in for dinner and once again he asked his
grandma
"where's Mom and dad?" and his grandmother replied
"they're still up in bed."
The little boy started to laugh and his grandmother asked,
"What gives? Every time I tell you they're still up in bed you start to laugh! What is going on here?"
The little boy replied,
"Well last night daddy came into my bedroom and asked me for the Vaseline and I gave him superglue________________________________________________________________